Tiny Bird Battles

Today while I was outside with the dogs, I noticed a small bird attacking a larger bird in flight. The little bird seemed angry and desperate to get at the big bird. I wondered why? I assumed it had gone after the little bird's nest. Each peck from the smaller bird had little effect on the much bigger bird. It seemed kinda pointless, but I admired the little bird's courage and determination to protect its babies at all cost.

I related to the little bird's protective instincts over its family. I am a formidable opponent when I feel threatened. When I am triggered by fear for myself or my family, mama bear kicks into action. This was recently the case after my recent auto accident. That day my client and I were enjoying a beautiful day with her daughter. After dropping her daughter off and heading home, we were struck by an inattentive driver. We were both injured by the airbags and transported to the hospital. In an instant our day was ruined by someone’s carelessness. The driver did not even check on us following the collision. That bothered me, but I let it go. My car was totaled. I have lost over a week of work, and my client and I are still recovering from our injuries.

A week has passed and the bruises are going away. I have attempted to reach the woman's insurance company repeatedly to no avail. I have requested to speak with management and they still have not responded. The tow yard refuses to let me get my belongings from my totaled vehicle. I was fully insured and told she was also. Now when it comes time for them to compensate me no one is available. It’s all surreal to me.

I am processing a slew of emotions about this whole ordeal. I am angry at all of this inconvenience, and wonder if the driver is experiencing as much difficulty in getting her situation remedied? I haven’t slept well for a week and now for four days I have been throwing up all of a sudden. My husband Bryon thinks it's from nerves. I stepped on the scale this morning and realized that I lost 10 pounds in a week! Not the way I wanted to do it. This has obviously affected me more than I knew.

Bryon, desperate to fix this before my health takes another hit, took money from his savings to get me a car so I can get back to work. I will repay him once insurance figures out a settlement. I feel like the little bird desperately trying to keep the big bird from ruining my peaceful nest.

A powerful Insurance company deciding what my life or car is worth? How much is hearing loss worth? Pain and suffering? Trauma? Who decides? I value my hearing. I love the sounds of water in a creek or the rain hitting a tin roof. I get through my day enjoying music while driving through the countryside. I get dizzy and the bouts of vomiting are leaving me feeling weak and exhausted. I feel anxious not knowing how this will play out. I want my peace. To me that is priceless. These are some of the things that have been keeping me up lately. I hate the fact that the big Insurance company gets to decide what they think I am worth.

Years ago I had no self worth. I would've believed this was just my destiny. Bad luck seemed to follow me around. It was like I lived under a black cloud, or so I thought. I expected bad things to happen. I would’ve accepted any offer from the insurance company because I didn’t know my worth. Today I value myself and know what I bring to the table. I will no longer settle for less.

These days I understand how our energy attracts what happens to us. I try to remain positive during difficult times. I remind myself that it is only temporary. This too shall pass. When troubles become too much for me I gladly turn them over to God. He restores my peace.

It’s Monday, the beginning of week two of this. I have surrendered my worries to God. I am doing what I can do to rid myself of this stress and move on. I know that God will make a way for me. He always has before. I am grateful for perseverance and healing.

How do you overcome your challenges? What keeps you going when everything seems to be unraveling? What do you do to protect your nest? I would love to know. Drop me a line in the comments.

Namaste.