Some little known facts about me that you may not know.
I have 3 first place trophies for arm wrestling. I won them all the same day!
My lucky number is 13.
I am an empath. I feel others' energies. I have done this since I was a child. I never understood that this was a thing until after I got sober. I realized I was taking on feelings and emotions that weren’t mine. I believe this is partly why I drank in an attempt to quiet these energies.
I take everything to the extreme. If I am happy - I am ecstatic! If I am sad - I feel deep hopelessness and grief. If I get angry I go straight to rage. There is no in between. When I was drinking I drank to get annihilated. I wanted to be completely numb. When I started working I went from part time to 6 days a week, taking every client I could. It wasn’t for the money, it was an attempt to help everyone in need. I couldn’t say no. The result of overworking for me is that I become overwhelmed and exhausted. That isn’t a good thing for a recovering alcoholic. Overwhelm was always my excuse to pick up. I was the reason for sabotaging myself. Or I should say my crazy brain was the reason.
I now understand myself and why I do things the way I do. My thoughts used to control my actions, but now I do. I learned that our thoughts become our actions. Our actions predict the results. Make good decisions, have a peaceful life. Continue to make poor choices and suffer the consequences. I keep my thoughts on the things I want in life. I want a peaceful, serene life. I despise drama anymore. I try to live a life that emulates my love of God. I believe we get back what we give. I choose to spread kindness and joy these days. To focus on the positives in my life. Is my life perfect? No way, but I am the happiest I have ever been.
Today I am proud to say I am celebrating 6 years sober. Something I used to believe was impossible for me. I am finding balance in life. I love helping others. I take time to nurture my soul while outside playing with the dogs or gardening. I make time for friends and family. I see so many lonely people in need of a kind word or deed. I remember my lonely days, sick and depressed wishing someone would reach out to me. I make an effort to check on my friends that I neglected during my struggles. I feel it helps them feel appreciated, and who doesn’t need that these days? I let go of petty differences that kept me apart from those I cared for. Resentment and disappointment fell by the wayside. Forgiveness and love filled the hole in my heart. I am so grateful for my life today. I can finally embrace all the unique qualities that make me who I am today. You know what? I realized I wasn’t such a bad person afterall. In fact if Jesus can forgive someone like me, then everyone can be redeemed as well. What a wonderful blessing life is.
What things do you like about yourself? What’s the hardest thing you’ve done in your life? What are you most proud of? Drop me a comment. I’d love to hear your story! Namaste.