Recently I realized that the changes I’ve made in my life over these past few years have literally changed who I am today. Gone from my life today are friends, beliefs, and booze. To be honest I am ok with that. The friends I treasure are those who remain and the new friends I am meeting. The beliefs I held that we would be friends forever have diminished as well. I used to bend over backwards for people. I now know my worth and am selective with my time. I understand that being a friend is a responsibility and I take it very seriously. Friendships take work. Checking in on friends from time to time helps to make sure that your friend feels appreciated and loved. Something we all need. A small act that makes a huge difference.
Maintaining friendships is an act of love. As humans we need connection with others. We need to be part of something bigger than ourselves. These days it seems that everyone is dealing with something. Whether it’s health issues, aging parents, mental health or addiction issues it helps to have a friend during these challenges that happen. I think that my being an empath helps me to see when people are struggling. I immediately jump into action to see how I can help make things a little easier for them. As a caregiver, this sensitivity comes in very handy. I can help my clients through their struggles, not by remedying their problems, but just by being there to hear their story. I thought everyone could interpret others feelings as I do, but learned that that isn’t the case. It is a gift, but at times, I believed it was also a curse.
It is uncomfortable for me to be in large groups of people. I take on others' energy, good or bad. I know this is a difficult concept for those who don’t have this ability, but this is my life. Most of my life I wanted to be numb, because feeling everyone's emotions was confusing and scary at times for me. Since my sobriety I understand that this is what I had been dealing with for the majority of my life. I now give any negative energy to God. I make sure what I feel is truly mine.
I have learned that empaths are born as a trauma response. Heightened perception was developed as a way of protecting me from danger. Reading rooms help me to navigate those who would deplete my energy or cause me harm. These days I listen carefully to my inner guides. Wisdom keeps me focused and living with integrity. I wish to help those I can and inspire people to work on themselves. God has gifted me with health and purpose now. I am stepping into a person that I can be proud of. I am a person of faith, love and forgiveness. I am happier today than I ever believed was possible.
I am able to dream about the future. I am excited for what is to come. Labeled as an alcoholic, or bipolar, wasn’t a reason to give up. It was a challenge to heal. To take back control of my life and become the leader God designed me to be. The challenge was accepted. Today I hardly recognize myself. In 6 years I flipped the script of my life. I said no to alcohol, cigarettes, and junk food. I said yes to developing my relationship with God, exercise, and stepping out of my comfort zone. In my memoir, Dance of the Dragonfly, I learned to embrace discomfort, because I now understand that is how we grow. I no longer run to doctors to fix me or for the next pill to heal me.I take responsibility for myself and my decisions. I treat my body as a temple. I am learning to balance things so I can live my best life. I nurture my relationships and friendships. I am grateful for my circle of friends; my support system. Once lonely, I am now filled with love for others. Believing in myself I can bring forward change and create a more loving world. That’s the plan anyway!
What would you change about yourself if you could? Is friendship important to you? I would love to hear your story. Drop me a note in the comments! Namaste
Stepping Into Who I Was Meant to Be
